I witnessed something the other day, and it reminded me so much of this sketch. My grandma gave it to me years ago, and I love it, because it’s a gentle reminder, for me, to let go and let God. I saw a grown woman lean into her mother’s chest for a hug. The mother stroked her hair, and they stayed like that for a long while. It kept choking me up so I had to turn away, but I couldn’t help my staring. It was so beautiful. The woman’s face looked just like the lamb’s face, calm and at rest. A God moment, for sure. How wonderful that a grown woman can still lean on her mother for comfort and love like a child.
Isn’t this what God desires from us? Or, if you’re not a Christian, isn’t this what your spouse craves? Or maybe your own mother? Maybe even your children? To have a closeness with you, an intimacy that words don’t really fully explain?
In a sermon I listened to once, the pastor spoke about her need to control everything and how she has to daily let her worries and to do lists fall into God’s hands. I resonated with that honesty so much. A recovering control freak? Yes, I am. Not necessarily in the way that you may think though. I tend to ask God to handle the big stuff, but often times, I try to control the details.
For example: I used to ask God to warm my heart to the possibility of a relationship. Then I would mentally add, but not right now! Or I ask God to help me focus on my healthy lifestyle. Then I add, but please keep brownies in moderation!
Do you know how hard God laughs at me when I try to tell Him when I’ll be ready for something? Or when I’ve had enough of something? I must sound like that kid who sits on Santa’s lap. “I want a purple bike with pink rims, a bell on the right handle, and training wheels for Christmas, but not my birthday.”
This is usually when God’s all, “Okay... how about a pink bike, with streamers coming out of both handles, a bell on both handles, hot pink rims, a soft cushioned seat, and a basket? And I’ll bring it when I’m ready.”
I am so blinded by what I want sometimes, that I forget that God’s plan is always so much better and so much more complete than my own. I pray at night and babble on about all the things I want to accomplish and all the things I want to do, and all the while, I could imagine God shaking His head, because He knows how much I underestimate myself and what He can do in my life.
Sometimes, I think God just wants me to shut up. I think He wants me to lay my head on His chest so He can hold me close and remind me that He's got this. He wants me to stop talking, and to just trust that He will provide. He expects His daughter to love Him, to be thankful for His sacrifice, and to lay down my burdens for good so that He can carry them, while He carries me. He invites me to surrender all to Him, like a child who trusts her parent. He deserves this intimacy with me, and with you!
The same can be said of our loved ones. Sometimes they just want us to shut up and stop working for a minute. Our children want us to cease folding the towels for ten minutes to play a game, or maybe just to cuddle on the couch. Your spouse or significant other may want you to ignore the dishes or expense report or football game for one night to sit and talk for a while, not about bills or emotions or feelings or schedules or your children, but just life, maybe the good ol’ days. Your friend may be desiring to sit and chat or a movie night out, some girl time or guy time, whichever applies. They do deserve that, don't you think? But how hard is it to ask? I think immeasurably.
We’re so afraid to seem “needy” that we let the moment pass and figure we’ll try again another day. Yet, children are so great at asking for these moments, and no one calls them needy. I don’t have all of the answers. I do know that I worship a God that has yet to let me fall through the cracks or give up on me. Do times get hard? Yes! But I think those are the times when God expects my attention the most. Those are the times when He says, “Kallay, I already know what you’re going to ask, but trust me, I’ve got this. Come cuddle, daughter. You’re going to be just fine.” Sometimes, I surrender all.
Do you ever stop talking and let God in? Do you ever stop your daily monotony to have a moment with your loved ones? Do you ever fall into your mother’s arms and let her run her fingers through your hair?
Do you ever surrender all?
(Originally posted on kallaydoscope.com)