This year, Valentine’s Day was nice, but Valentine’s Evening was a little different.
After a wonderful dinner, I sat in my living room to reflect on the special day. As I scrolled through Facebook, I came across a message and, at that very moment, my happiness was gone.
“Your Memories On Facebook - Christine...We thought you’d like to look back on the post from 6 years ago.”
NO. I did NOT want to look back to 6 years ago. I began to see red, literally... I remembered posting the picture of my “Happy” Valentine’s Day gift, beautiful red roses and a red card that had two hearts on it. I had only posted that photo to disguise the pain and sorrow I was experiencing during that time in my life.
Around that time, my marriage hit rock bottom. I was hanging on by a thread in hopes that God would bring life and joy back to our broken marriage. Although everyone saw love in the photo I posted, the love in our marriage was gone. I hoped to hide the ugliness in my marriage behind the beautiful roses. I hoped that the two hearts on the front of the Valentine’s Day card could disguise my one heart that was broken in two.
But looking back at that time, I remember being so close to God.
He was the one who gave me the strength that I needed to hold onto my marriage. The world saw someone strong, while I was broken inside. The world saw that I was happy, but at home, my pillow was constantly drenched with tears.
David the Psalmist said, “You are my hiding place and my shield; I hope in your word.” - Psalm 119:114
Hiding under my Heavenly Father’s wings was the only thing that kept me together, He was my shield. He was my hope. Instead of hoping that my marriage would get better, I was hoping that God would give me strength to endure whatever obstacles came my way.
Although Muta and I had hit rock bottom, we both agreed that there was nowhere else to go but up. Our faith in God was the foundation of our marriage. We began to rebuild our relationship by studying God’s Word together again and by communicating in a more loving way. We asked God to mend our broken hearts. Instead of hiding by myself, we began to hide our love and marriage under the protection of His wings.
When I look back now, I don’t see red out of anger. I see the red that represents Jesus’ blood that covers our past, present, and future sins.
I see how His love saved our marriage. So now, that Facebook photo brings me to a place of peace knowing that he continues to use our story--even the negative parts--for His glory.
Six years ago, I hid behind that Facebook picture, but today my true hiding place is behind the cross of Jesus Christ.
What are you hiding behind?