Recently, I have felt challenged and convicted by some things I've reread in the Bible. God must be trying to teach me something because I have wrestled with even the foundational concepts of my faith.
I have been a Christian for two decades, and until recently, I have not second-guessed what I believed to be true about God's word. I have pretty much held the same beliefs all these years.
As I attempted to understand these aspects, considered what I've always believed, and discerned the truth from the two, I felt that my faith was beginning to struggle. I began to question everything I'd ever been taught.
Was my faith really unshakable and as strong as I thought?
In between consulting the Bible and asking God to make his truth evident, I also asked my husband, my pastor, and a close friend what they thought. To each of them, I expressed my frustration with my inability to comprehend God's word fully; "to know it all." I've been a Christian for so long, I shouldn't be struggling with the basics.
To this, my husband and pastor told me that wrestling with the word is a good thing. It reminds us that God is God and we are not, and we are not meant to fully understand Him. It should encourage us to dig deeper and to seek truth more fervently.
My friend put it best, though, and her words really brought things into perspective. She said, "the confusion is part of the awe."
God is so complex and unlike us in so many ways. If He were just like us, there would be no reason for grace. He would be on our level.
But while God is complex, His truth is for us and the more we seek Him, the more we understand Him. So even in the midst of confusion and questions, we can still step back and say, "wow. God is awesome."
If you ever find yourself struggling with Biblical knowledge or the character of God, don't get discouraged. Your questions are opportunities for God to show you just how incredible He is. Allow Him to answer your questions through His word. Even if things are confusing or incomprehensible, God will still reveal Himself as holy, patient, and gracious. And that's pretty awesome.
"he reveals deep and hidden things; he knows what is in the darkness, and the light dwells with him." -Daniel 2:22